QAQAQ 1: Shall I Convert to Another Religion to Get Married?


QAQAQ is a Sunday post by Xio Ruth where she offers solutions to people's dilemma. Talk about your problem and read what it's all about here.
Situation: My boyfriend and I have been planning on getting married for 2 years now. We could never do it since we have different religions. His parents wouldn't let me marry him if I don't convert to their religion. My parents don't like it either. They don't want me to convert to their religion. What shall I do? I'm not a devoutee but I just couldn't imagine giving up the faith I believed my entire life. I'm a Roman Catholic while my boyfriend is a Mormon. We're both Christians but we have different practices. Tears were involved already especially on the part of my boyfriend. We've been waiting for so long but I just couldn't convert to the point that his parents are now angry with me. My parents will also be sad if I go the other way. What shall I do?


The word is: Love God first. If you truly love God, you wouldn't let somebody else get in the way of your faith. If your boyfriend/fiance truly loves you, he'd stand his ground in letting you stand your ground to stay with your faith. He broke down because you couldn't get yourself to convert? That's a sign of weakness. Your husband should be someone who could protect you even from his parents' judgment. Ask yourself this: In what way do you hurt others by not converting from your belief to theirs? You're not hurting anyone.

What are you after? The wedding? Or the marriage? You see, if you and your man truly love each other, it doesn't matter how you are going to marry so long as you're both married. I know that you both like the idea of a church wedding because of the sanctity of marriage in the eyes of God. As the Christian bible says to follow your husband, it appears that it is your duty to convert to the religion of your husband. Had it been that your husband is not a Christian like you, then that argument would have been moot as "you're shifting to another God". As how it appears, you believe in the same God and yet don't believe the same.

You'd love to stick with your faith. Then stand your ground. Having a church wedding is pointless when you both can't even agree to the same religion.

Bottomline: You don't have to convert, just give up your dream of having a Church Wedding. If you want a married status, marry your man by Civil Wedding. The church is separate from the state. Technically, your religion won't matter to most people. By civil wedding, you're married in all ways.

Perhaps, your fear is all about people not agreeing with your decision in either side. If you don't convert to your boyfriend's religion, his parents get angry. On the other hand, your parents will be sad if you do.

I know you don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Then what about your feelings? Would you be happy if you convert? His parents aren't the one who's going to marry you but your boyfriend. Tell your boyfriend to man up and not cry just because of your decision to stick with your faith.

Isn't religion supposed to be about love and peace? Then both your faith should give you peace as you already love each other. If you love God, then you'd think that God will still love you and forgive you if you marry someone who doesn't have the same religion as you or if you don't marry in His holy church. Have a Civil Wedding instead. That way, you won't be trampling each other's belief. If neither side would attend to your wedding just because it isn't a blessed ceremony to either's perspective, I'm sure you both have real friends who would surely be there to witness the state's blessing of the union of two souls.

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