As I go along the journey of reading many books, I've encountered some problems with the heroine of the story. And they are mostly internal. The root of their problems is inner conflict (mostly insecurities) despite being pretty. It's for this reason that I find it hard liking the female protagonist especially if it is written in her POV. So I would like to say to her:
Avoid getting in a situation where you have to compete the dead.(Inspired by PHR's Lorenzo Empire series)
If you're already in it, then just endure, endure, endure. You'll figure things out if you really love the man who so happens to be still having the hang-up for the departed girlfriend/fiancé/wife. Otherwise, just leave.
If you want a guy badly, then do everything in your hands for him to swoon over you.(Inspired by Eve Montelibano's Lothario series)
If you need to be the one to court the man just so he'd notice you, then do so! Whoever defines that it should be the man who'd give the signs or advance? Just don't make yourself appear like a (pardon me for the word) whore. Moreover, just don't make it bloody. Though sometimes popping your cherry with him will do.
Don't steal another woman's man.(Inspired by Tarryn Fisher's Love Me with Lies series)
If it is unavoidable, like if the man you're attracted to advanced on you and you had something going on for months now and you're not even aware that he's already committed until you do, think about why his wife can't even put a leash on his neck. They might be lacking the passion (or chemistry) in their married life. There's also the possibility that they're not supposed to be together. While you ponder on this, don't be too selfish. Weigh things carefully.
If you have it, strut it.Be it your body, your talent or skills, show the world what you've got. Just don't embarrass yourself in the process.
If you have any problem about yourself, then do something about it.(inspired by Wendy of Xiaxue)
If you are insecure about your looks, your being second next to someone or pretty much everything else, meditate, reflect and find your inner peace or else, just go to a shrink.
While people are discouraged with fake beauties (with the power of makeup), with the ones who went under the knife, it would be wise to just reward yourself. You worked hard to earn that money. If you want to have that surgery, then go! If you are still second best, then work harder. Don't think about what others might say about you, think about how you would like to feel better. What's important is that you've never hurt anyone in the process (but just yourself with all the knives cutting your flesh in dimensions).
Just enjoy things. Even the little ones. Or the bad ones.Sometimes shit just happens. Don't get it to your nerves. It might have happened for a reason. Also, mishaps could produce good things like your friends being able to laugh. Although at you. If you get affected, it will show. And other people might bully you for it. But if you just shrug it off, they might see you as someone cool. If some will bring your mishap up in certain occasions, then just make it a joke. It will grow on you. How about when you trip on your foot and a gorgeous guy happens to catch you in time? Wouldn't that just be awesome?!
Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.-Tyrion Lannister
Appreciate the things that you already have.The things that you take for granted are oftentimes the things that will make you happy when you see them in a different light.
Your character defines you as a person.(inspired by Alyson Noel's Immortal series)
If you don't have the looks, have the achievements.
If you don't have the brains, have the hard work.
Be passionate.And I don't mean in the bed. Passion is when you farm and would do everything in your power to save your crops from flood, pest, drought or storm. Passion is trying to find ways to make your crops more healthy everyday. You didn't like farming at first, but it's only what you have so far. As you keep going on about your business, without realizing it, you are into it already. Passion is putting your heart in what you are doing.
Don't always point your finger to someone for your misfortune.Blaming others shows how much you don't have guts. Before you jump to conclusion, reflect on what happened. And if someone really is to blame, look for a solution instead of wallowing on mistakes.
Avoid from committing mistakes in the first place.If having regrets in life is unavoidable, simply move on and direct your attention to something else instead. If you're trying to win back someone, think about how the other person might feel about you first before you think about just how you feel entirely. If you had hurt your family's feelings, give it time and offer your apologies later.
Avoid jealousy when you could.The problem is, it's part of the qualities of a girl to be jealous. Her brain is wired that way. In any case, just fight off that feeling of getting jealous and think of your positive qualities that you could appreciate. More often than not, jealousy and insecurity are both the same in nature.
It’s normal for a guy to want to have sex with his girlfriend.(Inspired by Alice Kuiper's 40 Things I want to tell You)
If you never feel like like wanting to have sex with your boyfriend, chances are he isn't the one for you. You might feel comfortable with him or secured in your future life, but think of this: what if that man who could simply arouse you with his looks would barge into your life one day? Lust does not equal to love but still, attraction is the start of everything.
Don't be clingy.Give your man his me-time. Your life is not simply about you nor getting in a relationship just about your man and yourself. Life is full of circles that involves other people. Remember this: while familial love is forever, romantic love strong, there's a real commitment to brotherly love.
There's a certain kind of closeness with a man and his friends (even the bond in a fraternity) that romantic feelings between a couple could never rival.
Don't try fixing a bad guy.(Inspired by 40 Things I want to tell You)
You can’t get him to feel anything he does not already feel. While you have issues, he too have issues that only he could face. Sometimes, you can't insert yourself into the inner core of another, even your very own boyfriend. I know how much it is a challenge to break through somebody else's defenses and that there's a certain pride into being the only one to see through the soul of someone because he opens up to you. But if you are nowhere that near, don't try to force things from happening.
Don't make winning a guy just a challenge for you to win.Maybe for others it's just a game. Perhaps, a bet with some friends. Or you just want to get even with your great nemesis on something. Maybe it's just your mindset. But you must always think about the future and think about what you really feel for the man and what he also feels about you because you will surely develop some feelings. But then, you don't want to wind up contemplating on divorce in the future shall you marry that man, do you?
Remember that under the sheets, some men would like to try things at a different level.If you notice that your man doesn't have the drive to do it with you, instinct would say that he has find his release somewhere and not just because he is tired from work. Trust this instinct, he did have done it with a different woman. But before you could accuse him of anything, start screaming at the top of your lungs in a fit, feel unfortunate that you've married a philandering man, why don't you ask yourself what you lack?
And no, don't start feeling insecure about your looks or the scarcity of your achievements. It must be something you haven't done.
While a man loves you, if you don't break through your inhibitions, he would likely find his preferences with another woman. You might always prefer doing it lying on your back but what if he also likes doing it the 'savage' way sometimes, however savagery is? If you don't give it to him, he might do it with somebody else. Also, don't complain if your man won't give you heads when you don't do the same to him.
In the worst case scenario, the last thing that you'd possess is your pride.Once upon a time, you think you will have that happily ever after (HEA) with this guy. So you invested almost every inch of yourself to him. You gave him your virtue. For years, he's been your only man. But then one day, he ran to a different woman or either of you just lost the fire. What went wrong?
This is the time when you'll have to think about your pride. While running after him would always be your first option, think of the above 19 things. You haven't ran out of options after all. Self-preservation is the key to keeping sane and getting back on your feet after a tragedy. And no, you need not be paranoid nor hateful towards other men. There are so many fish in the sea, why don't you go fishing? You might find the right kind of fish that you need to eat if you catch my drift.